宁愿心痛苦 不装饰你的梦
别再将我心 反复地戏弄
宁愿我携着 忧郁归去
像刚消失那阵风
别再伤我心 它伤的那么重
像块冰碎开 它显得太轰动
狂热与天真 早消失了
在郁郁的岁月中
谁愿意一颗心永落空
谁愿意只装饰你的梦
宁任我的心再长期的痛
亦不想给你抚弄
让每声叹息 消失于你的梦
让每点笑声 响于你的梦
曾为你献出的点点真爱
在空气里流动
谁愿意一颗心永落空
谁愿意只装饰你的梦
宁任我的心在长期地痛
亦不想给你抚弄
让每声叹息 消失于你的梦
让每点笑声 响于你的梦
曾为你献出的点点真爱
在空气内流动
曾为你献出的点点真爱
在空气内流动
%*%曲子好，填词还可以出版本。昙花痛
是个尝试。
When your mind is a mess
So is mine
I cant sleep
Cause it hurts when I think
My thoughts aren’t at peace
With the plans that we make
Chances we take
They’re, not yours and not mine
There’s waves that can break
All the words that we say
And the words that we mean
Words can fall short
Can’t see the unseen
Cause the world is awake
For somebody’s sake now
please close your eyes woman
Please get some sleep
And know that if I knew
All of the answers I would
Not hold them from you’d
Know all the things that i’d know
We told each other, there is no other way
Well too much silence can be misleading
You’re drifting I can hear it in the way that your breathing
We don’t really need to find reason
Cause out the same door that it came well its leaving its leaving
Leaving like a day that’s done and part of a season
Resolve is just a concept that’s as dead as the leaves
But at least we can sleep, its all that we need
When we wake we will find
Our minds will be free to go to sleep
And know that if I knew
All of the answers I would
Not hold them from you’d
Know all the things that i’d know
We told each other, there is no other way
人生贵在适意，腾展自家手脚，怡然自得，慢看起落，取与不萦，方便吾心。适意所藉，茶酒可也；一铁观音，须臾不离齿遐；一竹叶青，寒冬炖锅必备。为人风骚如此，口腹不觉其累，可也。
积习不改，耿耿终身，性也。黄钟不复，不可强贞坚白，徒取辱耳。内养骨气，外结师友，偶尔白眼，自嘲自惜外圆内方，可也。维调谑最好腻友，冷槽不宜冰镇。
天下智者牛毛，迷于语沼煌论者鸡毛，善自守愚规避可也。
年近而立，犹自跳脱疏懒，一大问题。
昨晚九点多去茶城买茶，看一主打铁观音的就推门进去了。店主据桌而坐，正自冷清的样子，看客人到，热情招待。聊及口音籍贯，原来他几年前在我老家呆过，算是缘分。于是难得的坐下品茶，尝了尝一百多和二百多的，他边冲边讲，虽有些福建口音，态度很是友好恭和，我也略学了一两点茶识，末了心情愉悦，买了一百多块的铁观音。—以往每次二三两四五十为多，不过茶龄近六年了，每晚喝点，不学功夫，维牛饮耳。
今晚转了几条街去买票，票没买着，五脏庙告急，于是折返的路上，过一个路口吃一点，分别买了卤鸭腿、炸鸡腿和一袋瓜子，快到小区了，有点饱，又还是踅进了旁边的一家羊肉馆。本要来碗羊肉汤，刚进门迎面看见四人围桌，抬头对我的就是茶店主人许汗青。我想也没想、点头示意，他微一错愕，随即招手起身，拉我就座。须知茶城虽在左近，也隔了两个红绿灯得走一刻多钟，而这家羊肉馆只是刚搬过来时常吃，最近也有个把月没去了，不想缘分如此。 稍作客气，旁边一中年老哥熏熏然摆手看座，于是添杯倒酒，寒暄吃肉，尽是闲话。旁边另一中年大哥带着儿子在座，没那么醉，介绍这主场M哥时还提及昔年曾与薄督熹来共桌叙谈过，我忙多问两句，原来是90年代牧于海滨时的事。我笑谑道：M哥当初没教育好哇，看现在搞得西南乌烟瘴气的。M哥酣然一乐，点头沉吟。我叙及当年东北流言黑帮云云，他也点头，—许是麻了，不一定听得真切。又说今年或进中枢，M哥微有作色，说进不了，我探问究竟，他也佯醉它顾，或是知其一二
又加两瓶，许哥热忱周到，喝酒爽快，不一会儿M哥有些晕了。就扶摇散席，许哥招待大家去他茶店喝茶散酒，我微有些上头，说家在旁边，下回再聚好了，遂送别而去。
截止此时的野夫与王文两先生的论战，王文还是未见败象的，尽管初始的闲话吐槽篇显得罗嗦零散失之谨严，遇到点射围狙后抛开白眼撇嘴段子不说另开局面罔顾左右而言它，也算攻防有致面不改色。野夫再驳，文气骤升锋芒更锐，划然以是非黑白公理汗青抵问，落点于天下寒噤道路以目神物饕餮之刻何以三人坐骂于当道通衢聒聒喋喋嚣嚣哓哓詈夷为跖吐信吠尧陷未知于不义、蹈亡失为罪狱? 况天下衔枚已久，遇此乖事，犹有零星嘲哺神兽鸦涂皇墙，昔日言囚犹在，今又撇开挡箭牌，欲以毁誉舌判乎? 此何世哉? !此何时哉? !
论及左右健行师长，亦有微言献拙。一面是附庸权势身在庙堂或怀异志谋求转圜曲进，资源公信未尽之前思量犹有可为之处，一面是道义优越心存彼岸徒有嘶声愤于边缘力不得申。前者难为，非有大毅大运不行，后者需忍、理想主义易失于偏颇激于意气无助于当世大局。最好的情况，是上行下效，渐进革新，但积臃流弊至今，汹汹沸沸，怨望累代，本朝养蟹钳舌、高墙电网，成绩犹著 …
行笔于此，不免犬儒病发，愈觉环堵森然、哀乐难期、身如浮介于中流，不知舟行何处了
ref : http://www.mshw.org/review/debate/2011-04-19/994.html
PS：刚读到《戏谈左右—从故乡的两个朋友谈起》，推荐下，可以看出我的浅薄了
I see it around me, I see it in everything.
I could be so much more than this.
I said my goodbye’s this is my sundown.
I’m gonna be so much more than this.
With one hand high, you’ll show them your progress.
You’ll take your time, but no one cares.
No one cares.
I need you to show me the way from crazy.
I wanna be so much more than this.
With one hand high, you’ll show them your progress.
You’ll take your time, but no one cares.
With one hand high, you’ll show them your progress.
You’ll take your time, but no one cares.
No one cares.
I could be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I could be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
No one cares.
I wanna be so much more than this.
Good Goodbye, lovely time
Good Goodbye, tinsel shine
Good Goodbye, I’ll be fine
Good Goodbye, good goodnight.
I’m just a little person
One person in a sea
Of many little people
Who are not aware of me
I do my little job
And live my little life
Eat my little meals
Miss my little kid and wife
And somewhere, maybe someday
Maybe somewhere far away
I’ll find a second little person
Who will look at me and say
“I know you
You’re the one I’ve waited for
Let’s have some fun.”
Life is precious every minute
And more precious with you in it
So let’s have some fun
We’ll take a road trip way out west
You’re the one I like the best
I’m glad I’ve found you
Like hangin’ ’round you
You’re the one I like the best
Somewhere, maybe someday
Maybe somewhere far away
Somewhere, maybe someday
Maybe somewhere far away
Somewhere, maybe someday
Maybe somewhere far away
I’ll meet a second little person
And we’ll go out and play
Belief in the breeze,
The smoky morning haze.
The sun on her face,
and the touch of lovers’ hands.
The pain that comes today,
Is here, then goes away.
And we are homeward bound,
And I,
I want this more than life,
I want this more than life,
I want this more than life.
To touch something real,
Will help your wounds heal,
Like the sun on your face,
The dreams of starry nights.
And we are homeward bound,
And I,
I want this more than life,
I want this more than life,
I want this more than life…
I want this more than life.
Summer stretching on the grass
Summer dresses pass
In the shade of the willow tree
Creeps are crawling over me
Over me and over you
Stuck together with gods glue
It’s gonna’ get stickier, too
It’s been a long, hot summer
Lets get undercover
Don’t try to hard to think, don’t think at all
I’m not the only one,
Staring at the sun.
Afraid of what you’d find
If you took a look inside
I’m not just deaf and dumb
Staring at the sun
Not the only one
Who’s happy to go blind
There’s an insect in your ear
If you scratch it won’t disappear
It’s gonna itch and burn and sting
You want to see what the scratching brings
Waves that leave me out of reach
Breaking on your back like a beach
Will we ever live in peace?
‘Cause those that can’t do
Often have to
And those that can’t do
Often have to preach
To the ones
Staring at the sun
Afraid of what you’d find
If you took a look inside
Not just deaf and dumb
I’m staring at the sun
I’m not the only one
Who’d rather go blind
Intransigence is all around
Military still in town
Armour plated suits and ties
Daddy just won’t say goodbye
Referee won’t blow the whistle
God is good but will He listen
I’m nearly great
But there’s something missing
I left it in the duty free area
But you never really belonged to me
You’re not the only one
Staring at the sun
Afraid of what you’d find
You step back inside
Not sucking on my thumb
I’m staring at the sun
I’m not the only one
Who’s happy to go blind
Me and the boy’s we cinched up our saddles and rode to sonora last night
Gun’s hanging proud, daring out loud for any one looking to fight
Card cheats and rustlers would run for their holes when the boys from the old broken O
Rode up and reined on the street that they named Sonora’s death row
Mescal is free at Amanda’s saloon for the boy’s from the old broken O
Saturday nights in the town of Sonora are the best in all Mexico
They’ve got guitars and trumpets and sweet senoritas who won’t want to let you go
You’d never believe such a gay happy time on the street called Sonora’s death row
Inside Amanda’s we was a dancin’ with all of Amanda’s gals
I won some silver at seven card stud so I was out doin’ my pals
But the whiskey and mescal, peso cigars drove me outside for some air
Somebody whispered “Your life or your money”, I reached but my gun wasn’t there
I woke up face down in Amanda’s back alley aware of the fool I had been
Rushed to my pony, grabbed my Winchester and entered Amanda’s again
Where I saw my partners twirling my pistols and throwing my money around
Blinded by anger, I jacked the lever and one of them fell to the ground
Amanda’s got silent like night in the desert, my friends stared in pure disbelief
Amanda was kneeling beside the dead cowboy plainly expressing her grief
And as I bowed my head a trembled shot through me my six-gun was still at my side
I felt my pockets, there was my money, I fell to my knees and I cried
A nightmare of mescal is all that it was for no one had robbed me at all
I wish I was dreaming the sound of the gallows they’re testing just outside
The wall
The mescal’s still free at Amanda’s saloon for the boy’s from the old Broken O
I’d give a ransom to drink there today and be free of Sonora’s death row
I’d give a ransom to drink there today and be free of Sonora’s death row
Take me away from here and all today’s pain
You know I see it all so clear, like the mornin’ after the rain
You know I worry all the time what’s comin around the bend
Maybe I’m just goin crazy, but it feels like the end
I don’t remember what I’ve done - I’ve done with all the years
And I got no one but myself to ask how did I get here
You know I worry all the time what’s comin around the bend
Maybe I’m just goin crazy, but it feels like the end
And I wonder where you are tonight, If the same moonlight shines down on you
What if I had changed your mind
If I’d seen the signs, tell me what would we be doin now
Cuz now I’m walkin’ down the street, I got no money for a car
And I been walkin’ for so long, but I never got very far
You know I worry all the time what’s comin around the bend
Maybe I’m just goin crazy, but it feels like,
it feels like
it feels like
it feels like the end
And I wonder where you are tonight, If the same moonlight shines down on you
What if I had changed your mind
If I’d seen the signs, tell me what would we be doin now
So take me away from here and all today’s pain
You know I see it all so clear, like the mornin’ after the rain
You know I worry all the time what’s comin around the bend
Maybe I’m just goin crazy, but it feels like the end
双榆树的西域撒拉尔。mimida，班长，袁柒，袁柒家属小妈（！），朱少，星少和第七，囧大，根大和未来，砖头和莉香，以及最后隆重出场的古哥。
六点喝到半夜12点半，啤酒四十瓶左右，牛羊肉烤串无算。约略五百多，甚High ！
黑衬衣因为头天滑雪后洗了，只能白衬衣穆斯林侍者状现身。
惺惺相惜，贱贱难忘，呼而嗨哟，酣然忘醉
头回见根大七分醉熏、扶摇欲倾，哈哈，雷公木卫下回约齐，必须一贱惊城、谋醉忘形、黄白俱下 ，裸跳朝鲜广播操方能尽兴。
掀髯乐哉，聊记一二。
ps：0124熬夜翻完《失控的逻辑课》。
0125 口占四句溜子：
狂生故态忽又萌，千巡不醉一嘘空。
江湖儿女多贫贱，妄诞天真趁太平。
我怕你
我迷失，快神经了
我很怕你
还在找安全的封闭的树洞
我怕你
可以这么安然的对我
我不喜欢我自己
我怕你
我不敢轻易对谁好了
我还在漫无目的的逃跑和拼凑自己
我怕你
我想失忆
以这样那样、有痛无痛的方式
我患得患失，时好时坏
我很怕你
我对一个暗恋发痴的女生说了喜欢
接着
就花了一年的时间在梦里忘掉她的模样
我对你说了爱
我就一厢情愿的觉得
只要你还在，还在这世上
我就应该做点什么
为你
至少让你觉得这世界虽大，人口虽多
偶尔孤单的时候
你能听到影子的回声
晚间去蓬蒿剧场观廖伟棠诵诗，中间周云蓬诵唱老杜诗篇助兴，颇动心意；伟棠长短句亦郁错缤纷，气象景然。
饭后聚餐，拼长桌烤串啤酒，就近分组聒噪，嚄唶可喜
所诵诸诗，不乏深情佳构、蹁跹意象，属意留念者《枕边书》，抄录如次：
[
除了声音再没有更多，感谢空气
纵容了我们。还应该庆幸黑夜
是我们帷幕，一条冰薄水暖的河流。
雪轻轻从世界上你的一端下起
向我飘来，化作烟花，化作无有。
枕边就夜夜琼枝玉叶，
辗转间，碎落为三五水鸟流连。
你呵气成形，小小的树妖婆娑，
仿佛去年的一个冬夜，瑟瑟至凌晨
突然冰晶闪烁，阳光漫淹你身。
世界就如此睡去如一婴儿，
我闭上眼，就又火树银花了。
小狐仙偷走的不夜天中，
床是不归的乌篷船。
我们深夜起坐，看世界失了火，
自我们眼中的一只飞萤。
而它流曳出的另一个世界里
却又是津台雾锁，社戏灯歌。
写就一幅墨画，冰薄水暖，
我们说话仍如青草暗长。
隆冬臂弯轻围就是春节，
爆竹三声，仍不能叫我们惊醒。
只有远方人做梦，梦见鼠嫁女、
二月流莺，世事幻变，再没有更多。
雪随白夜红纸翻飞，仍是一片静默，
去年的光披掩着你一夜徘徊千转，
编结一个无花无果的曼陀罗，
远远的，解说了枕边你我。
]
三岁一郊，洵大礼也。
先说四孟驾出，即官家出行的礼制。“先期禁卫所门牒临安府约束居民，不许登高及衩袒观看。男子并令衫带，妇人裙背。仍先一日封闭楼门，取责知委，不许容着来历不明之人” ，责任明确，各小区居委会主任或路段城管“沿门驱逐杂人”，约拦击鞭，一路赞喝山呼不赘
而冬至的南郊祭祀，“千官百司，法驾仪仗，锦绣杂遝，盖十倍孟飨之数，声容文物，不可尽述。”先是五六月间，“择日命帅漕及修内司修饰郊 坛”，“绞缚青城斋殿等屋凡数百间”，“并差官兵修筑泥路”，从某门到某门，“计九里三百二十步”，“皆以潮沙填筑，其平如席”。对帝王的御驾专车“五 辂”，一个月前作压力测试，置铁万斤诸上，“与辂轻重适等，以观疾徐倾侧之势”。用车头一天，“缚大彩屋于太庙前，置辂其中，许都人观瞻”，让百姓积攒些 眼缘，瞧个头彩的热闹，或许也有同乐、厌胜的意味。
郊前一个月，反复演习，“殆无虚日”。前十日，陪祀诸官于尚书省宣誓遵守礼制戒律。前三日，帝王依百官奏请开始斋戒，从大庆殿、景灵宫到太庙 斋殿、青城斋殿一路浩荡的折腾换床位。路上热闹，“卤簿仪仗军兵于御路两傍分列”，“宰执亲王，贵家巨室，列幕栉比”，“珠翠锦绣，绚烂于二十里间，虽寸 地不容闲也。歌舞游遨，工艺百物，辐辏争售，通宵骈阗”。
凌晨一点一刻，”上服通天冠、绛纱袍，乘辇至大次“，礼部侍郎奏”中严外办“，即内外戒严，皇帝就踩着黄道（黄罗铺地），前面一宦官冲着大佬 撒些冰片龙脑香。礼官喊一声：”有司谨具，请行事！“ 礼乐起，祭坛内外，”凡数万众，皆肃然无哗。天风时送佩环韶頀之音，真如九天吹下也。“ 想来这”韶頀之音“，在凌晨的清寒熹微中，还是雍容灵彻、疏宕辽阔、启人懋敬的。至于祭礼，祝颂三献而已，随后散福赐胙、送神望燎，礼毕。
至于中严外办，也即宵禁戒严，书中以”喝探“为例。曰”三衙诸军，周庐坐甲，军幕旌旗，布列前后，传呼唱号，列烛互巡，往来如织“，曰”卫士 十余队，每队十余人，互喝云：是与不是？众应曰：是！又喝云：是甚人？众应曰：殿前都指挥使某人。” 不知是否也有具体的换防口令，增强安全。
黎明，上乘大安辇、五辂陪扈，吹拉弹唱去丽正门大赦天下。“千乘万骑，如云奔潮涌，四方万姓，如鳞次蚁聚，迤逦入丽正门”，随后立金鸡杆，与 三省宣敕，钟鸣欢呼声中按照约定作一番对答，敕下，礼部郎中奏解严，上乘辇回南宫门。是为“登门肆赦”，除十恶外，尽皆赦免，以示帝徳宽厚。
“大礼后，择日行恭谢礼”，譬如还愿，清简敛饰许多，“如四孟仪”。
简单说，转租的话应该三方会谈，有共同认可，否则会有问题，会出纠纷，会给小人以乘
昨天和中介虽然照面（他带了一个电工过来修电）并被简单盘问了一般情况，当时没定下来要合租；等我又看了一家匆匆回来定这家并交钱的时候，中介不在了。于是，今天搬东西过来时（上家前任已经清空房间闪人），看到屋门上贴了个纸条曰：拿钥匙的同学不要进门，速与房东联系，电话blah blah
就联系，就说没经过他擅自转租不行（其实昨天他和我说话时已经有一条要求是不能再转租了，这等于认可我可以接手）。而收钱消失的我的前任小伙儿呢，呵呵，办事也是仓促了点（好在不是坏人，我一看门栓纸条就心一咯噔，担心白交了三个月的租钱），在外面办户口转移，要赶晚上的火车去深圳，一堆杂务要处理。就只能三方电话交谈，两方（我和中介的小痞子）对面交涉了。当面交涉瞪眼吹须十分不洽，对方俩无赖说要提高200的月租，上家很怒，先说报警，警方说不管；他就说来不及纠缠了，让我找消协甚至法院，我一介平头，如何耗得起官司？呵呵
最初的方案是回南边住处取租房合同时酝酿的：打算颓然废弃、暂拖两天、认当吃亏再找一家赶紧再搬（中介扬言要清空我家当，我当时就怒了，发力瞪眼之；但显然他们唬人，因为合同钥匙我都有，他要动我东西就可以报警了 ）。为挽回损失计，短信上家同学希望能赔付一些，他要了我银行账户，答应到深圳后打给我一半。 为了这个方案，我赶紧联系并查看了昨天约了没看的另一处房子，颠南倒北的折腾啊，幸有google map和北京出租车在，—这一家看得不好，气也渐渐平息了，就琢磨了成熟而妥协的方案二
即还是自认吃亏倒霉前后交付仓促了，给中介四百，下两次付款时各加二百的方式付款。中介讹钱目的达到，同意。于是平均下来，也就是我平均月租比合同上写的多了50，对比上家临走时仓皇亏本的折损，可以将就了，毕竟这是海淀的半黑帮中介组织（问他哪个中介公司还说没公司，合同上看确实是对中介这个人的）。
虽有不忿，也算买个教训，一则是贪便宜要谨慎，二则是转租有风险，最好三方当面谈妥当（因为这合同上确实有擅自转租罚金两个月房租的霸王条款，理论起来会很折腾）
另：推荐一下搬家的小面包车师傅，姓文，13521457496，湖北人，收费不贵还给搬东西，我们老乡几个，这是今年第三次找他了，过两天估计还要找